For the past few days I have become incredibly restless. I feel so off balanced within myself. I feel as if everything I do will end up as a frustrating failure.
I truly don’t know why. Sometimes I just go through these phases. I suppose the joy has been sucked out of the things I love most.
I don’t want to draw.
I don’t want to run.
I don’t want to play piano.
I don’t want to write.
I don’t want to paint.
I don’t know why.
My motivation and love has disappeared. It has left me heart broken and frustrated. I get to the point where I feel so useless. I begin to even question why I did what I did to begin with.
Why did I even waste my time?
I hate feeling like this. I just want to scream and pour it all out and continue with my life. Who knows. Maybe screaming would help.
The most frustrating thing about this feeling is that I don’t know where it came from. On top of that my mind can’t let it go. I like to disect things and find out why they work the way they do. But with this feeling I can’t.
It’s like I don’t want to love anything or do anything. I apparently want to be alone with my misery. I don’t want to reach out to anyone. I don’t want stupid pity. I want a solution.
Just get me out of here.
Out of this torturous state of mind.