Doors and INFJs


If you are in any way familiar with INFJs, you are probably aware of the “INFJ Door Slam.” As of now I have been contemplating slamming a few more doors in my life. So, I figured I would delve in the mind of an INFJ (yours truly) to explain the thought process of a door slam.

First comes hurt. That is the first ingredient in the spiteful cocktail. Someone has to make me hurt on some level before I even think about shutting them out. This is usually after I have been fed up with feeling as if I am the only person trying in a relationship. It’s usually after I have stuck my neck out numerous times only to be rejected and pushed away resulting in feelings of incompetence and shame.

I literally feel as if I am not good enough. Which is twisted considering I’m the one that has carried the whole circus on my weary back in an effort to save it.

Second comes overwhelming anger and more pain. After that have realized that my feelings of inadequacy were all void, I become angry. Of course this is before the door has been shut.

I feel uneasy and unbalanced as a whole. My subconscious tells me something is wrong when I try to push the whole situation from my mind. Sometimes I have anxiety and nervousness as well.

Why is this? Because I still care about that person. I am bleeding out for them even in my anger. I never truly quit caring.

Once I have had enough of the pain and I can no longer bear it, I let go. It’s like when your body reaches it’s pain threshold and you pass out. Once you wake up everything is a blur but your body is relaxed. It doesn’t take the situation away necessarily. It’s only a short term of relief.

That is a door slam. I hate them to he honest, but it’s part if my thought process as an INFJ.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an INFJ. Maybe being an ESTP would be easier.

No, these are only thoughts of an upset INFJ. I love who I am, but sometimes it’s difficult. But then again I guess it’s like that for everyone.

Have a good one wherever you are and stay ever so amazing.

Loads of Love,


8 thoughts on “Doors and INFJs

  1. Being an INFJ is so extremely challenging. To feel so extremely about everything is exhausting. For me when I get to the point of an INFJ door slam I have given you too many chances already. When they can’t get it together I often find myself hurt. I give far too many chances as it is. I almost take it personally and blame myself that they are doing that. If only I would have tried harder it did not have to get to that point. I never blame them and it is nearly impossible for me to get angry with them.

    Take care

  2. I know these feelings all too well. During the in between time, I also feel like maybe it’s somehow my fault, and I feel foolish and naive for giving them so many chances already. Of course, I will often go right back and give another one. Until that door slams and slams for good. I hope you’re able to sort everything out in a way that will benefit your future. Though it has a tendency to turn around for the better eventually, even if we can’t see it at the time. 🙂 Have a good night! And thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, feelings, heart, and mind.

  3. I like your description about the moment right before; like passing out.

    For me that moment is defining. It’s like there is a literal switch inside of me and once it’s been flipped there is no recovery.

    I literally stop feeling and go through my actions with brutal, cold, heartless logic. The feelings have all been used up. In that moment there is nothing left for me to give.

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