Not too long ago I was doing more “research” on my type (as I usually do at night when I get bored of staring at my not-so-amusing ceiling) and I stumbled upon an article that explained of the different sort of relationships INFJs have with other types. The relationship being discussed was involving an INFJ and an INTJ. As I read on I noticed someone had said that this coupling is actually recommended because both people sort of balance each other out, personality wise. I smiled to myself and nodded my head. I know that combination all too well.
My sister is an INTJ. Although there is only one letter difference in our type, there couldn’t be a bigger gap between us. We both are introverts who need to recharge on our own. (Granted we do this in different ways. I prefer to draw, paint, write or play piano. H enjoys…well…I’m not so sure what she enjoys besides reading. She could be plotting to take over the world for all I know… She’s quite crafty. I’ve noticed INTJs are incredibly private anyways. Well, at least my INTJ is.)
We both are intuition dominated. This helps because for the most part, sensors just don’t get me. At all. Apparently I’m a little too wrapped up in my own dreamy mind to be considered normal.
Eh. C’est la vie, I suppose.
We are both judging. We prefer having somewhat of a plan. Granted we don’t mind surprises, it just drains us if too much spontaneity is involved. Take for instance one of our ESFP friends. We both love her to pieces, but at times we enjoying things going according to plan. Our friend literally is up for anything at anytime. She is the eighth wonder of the world.
Only two tiny letters separate my sister and me from being carbon copies. But what a difference those two little letters make! I process the world by feelings and H sees the world through facts. This does not mean that H does not have feelings, though. It also does not mean that I don’t consider facts. However, it is a predictor of how we react to different situations.
For the most part I am swayed by how I feel. I am the anxious one that wrings her hands and touches things repetitively when I am distressed. H, however masks how she feels when she is afraid, sad or uncomfortable. She usually shuts people out when she is feeling these things. You can read my face and pretty much tell where I am mentally. That’s not always the case for H. I can tell if she is upset and I can usually guess why, but as far as pinpointing what she feels, I cannot. If I cry, it’s usually when I tell someone about how I’m feeling or I am alone with my thoughts. When H cries, it is in solitude. She hates crying in front of other people, including me.
When we are happy we both show it. I usually go overboard, though. I practically throw a parade with freshly thrown flower petals and a poetic announcement while H simply smiles and verbally expresses how she feels. Of course, I am the most sensitive person in my family. H is probably one of the least. I can’t watch sad movies without them haunting my mind for days and sometimes weeks.
For example, I refused to see “The Fault in Our Stars” because I knew that if I did I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything for a while. I soak in what I see. I feel what the characters feel. I feel as if I’ve lost someone dear. H on the other hand sits in silence and nods her head in approval when it’s all over and continues on as if she’s watched the weather. I just stare at her in disbelief and continue to cry my eyes out.
Even though we are opposite, we are a great asset to one another. H, for instance isn’t as good at reading people. I tell her things that she doesn’t see and she internalizes it and spits it out as tangible facts. When I am feeling my guts out she verbally slaps me back to reality so I can do something about my problem. We share insights and gain knowledge from each other. We could be quite devious, really.
H is quite rare as well. Apparently INTJ females aren’t as prominent as INTJ males. I love the way INTJs can just shut out everything and plow through what they need to do to succeed at something. These guys are seemingly invincible. My sister is probably one of the strongest people I know. Honestly I wish I was as brave and steady as she is. She takes things in stride and doesn’t give it a second thought. She is truly remarkable.
I would have to agree that the INFJ and INTJ make a great pair. I wouldn’t trade my INTJ for anyone else, that’s for sure. She is my sister, and more importantly my best friend.
Have a good one and stay incredibly fantastic!
Loads of Love,