Truth About Pain

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Pain isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a sign of being alive. If something has gone out of your life and you feel pain it is because it gave you something. Be it love, happiness, hope or life.

No one likes pain because it produces tears and an aching in your heart. It leaves scars and bruises. It constructs walls and boundaries. You bleed.

The good thing about bleeding is that only alive things actively bleed. Alive things scar. Alive things bruise. Alive things construct. You are still alive.

Just hold on. The sun is still shining. We are still breathing. We are still believing. We will make it through together. I promise.

Wishing you all the love I have left.

Your Not So Far Away Friend,
Kate
xoxo

Loving An INFJ Woman

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If you’re reading this post, congratulations! I am assuming an INFJ lady has caught your eye and you are looking for some tips to make your relationship better. Kudos to you. You’re doing research about her type which means you probably really care about her. How sweet of you!  An effort to understand an INFJ will result in trust and love from the INFJ. That and loads of fuzzy cuddly feelings. And who doesn’t love those?

Back to the topic, I have constructed a small list of things that you need to know about loving an INFJ lady. Please note that these are just general observations and my own experiences. Even though two people share the same personality type doesn’t mean they are clones. Just a general warning before we get into it.

So without further ado, let’s get down to business.

1. Trust and safety are essential- This can be applied to any woman, but INFJs take it to a whole other level. By trust and safety I mean being able to be completely at ease with you as a person. The INFJ woman’s intuition is her life. You’ve heard of “Mother’s Intuition”? Well, INFJ women have that times ten. I can pick out which guys are true creeps and which are diamonds in the rough. On a side note, chances are if your INFJ has already agreed to hang out with you or talks to you on a regular basis, she probably doesn’t think you are a serial killer. If she did, she wouldn’t be there.

To be honest for the most part I feel as though I constantly have to watch after myself. I always have my shield up to avoid getting hurt. I’ve been around a few guys that I feel I could truly let down my guard. That feeling is euphoria. Feeling safe around a guy makes him ten million times more attractive to me. I begin to feel like he’s going to be there for me. I feel I don’t have to fight anything anymore. He’s there. He will keep me safe. I can finally live in the moment because my worries are gone. It’s so liberating.

2. Honesty is a must- So you might be wondering how you can achieve a level of trust with an INFJ. The answer is honesty. Be open about who you are without any consequences. What I mean is when a curious INFJ asks questions about you (which is a big deal, because puts us out of our comfort zone) don’t rebuke her if she wants to know something. Have you ever been around someone who just cuts you off after you put yourself out there? Yeah. It just hurts. And INFJs are extremely sensitive which just adds to the humiliation.

If she asks questions, she truly wants to get to know you. Believe me, she’s already gathered information from the way you treated the waiter, how you reacted in traffic, and how you looked at her when you saw her in her new dress. She is a sponge at this point. Don’t let this intimidate you or lie about who you really are. Just be unapologetically you. Honesty will take you past several layers of the INFJ and it encourages her to reveal more things about herself that other dates probably haven’t had the opportunity to see. And by the way, the way you sweet talk your dog or how you visit your mom every weekend and cook with her will be very endearing. INFJs love quirks because we are quirky people. Go ahead, kid. Let it all out.

3. Don’t give up- This is probably the most essential point of the list. Remember all those outgoing, partying, cheerleading types of girls? Forget all of that. An INFJ doesn’t care for superficial things which means most people don’t care to get to know them. This causes the INFJ to sink deeper in themselves. If she looks wrapped up in her own thoughts it’s because she is. Why? Because for years they have been her only true friends. Once she starts letting you in it will be gradual. Why? Because she’s not used to someone truly wanting to know how she feels and what she’s thinking. She may have difficulty putting it in words, but just give her a moment to gather her thoughts. Some days she won’t feel as open. Don’t worry; it’s nothing you have done. Some day’s she will want to cry and let it all out. Just be there. Some days she’ll hate how “weird” and “dysfunctional” the world thinks she is. Be her friend. Sometimes the listener needs to be listened to. Some days she will draw away from you in her own little corner. But don’t worry. She’ll be back.

Once an INFJ loves you, she won’t stop. You are literally ingrained in her heart. She won’t leave you even if you take her down. She is the definition of unconditional love. Just hold on. Don’t give up. It is hard to say goodbye to someone who won’t leave, if you know what I mean. 

I hope that list helps someone out there. If you take away one thing from this post, I hope it is “Don’t Give Up.” This not only applies to loving an INFJ, but everything else in life. Just don’t give up. The world already has too many quitters. Be a chaser, a dreamer, an achiever.

Stay incredibly amazingly fantastically awesome. Of course for someone like you it would be literally impossible to be any other way!

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

13 Signs You’re A Classic INFJ

Spot on.

Thought Catalog

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INFJ – Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging. INFJs are known to be great listeners, big dreamers, and deep, complex people. As the rarest personality type INFJ’s only make up less than 3% of the population. If you’ve taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator you probably know what you’re categorized as but these are some signs of a classic INFJ.

1. You’re always in search of a deeper meaning. At work, in relationships, with friends, and interactions with strangers you’re continually looking at life and situations in an obscure way to discover what’s beyond the surface.

2. Although people have an easy time connecting with you sometimes you can be a difficult person to really know. You value your privacy and often feel like you can only be your “true self” around those closest to you.

3. You’re a highly empathetic and sensitive person with an innate ability…

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Revenge

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Come to think of it, I’ve never truly tried it. I suppose I could have several times but I always figured it would be a waste of my time and energy. On top of that I’ve noticed that revenge more often than not consumes the avenger. It’s as if they become different people and are blinded to their transformation.

As the old saying goes, “The best revenge is living well.” Would it feel good to bust their nose? Probably for a brief moment. Would it resolve that gnawing feeling in your gut? Not really.

I suppose just sitting back and letting cruel people get their dues is fine with me. Fewer broken knuckles and unresolved feelings.

Just some random thoughts. Stay amazing as usual!

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

You Have My Word

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I am one of those moods. The one that is the result of an overindulgence of Glamour magazines and a wild imagination. I am in a “let’s drastically change my hair like that one model in that perfume spread because I am bored out of my mind and it seems so, well, glamorous” mood. This is never good. Once the mood is gone and I have hacked at my hair, I suddenly realize that snap hair decisions may not the best use of my time and mental capabilities. There have been too many mistakes. Too many cringe worthy mistakes.

*Shudders*

For one thing I have curly hair and that means it tends to lay differently than straight or wavy hair. Ever heard of the Christmas tree effect? Those words are enough to send any curly’s bouncy head spinning. This means you have a botched cut that doesn’t play well with your hair’s natural “flow” I suppose you could say. It makes you look like a Christmas tree. Except there is no singing of happy carols, smiling faces or overall peace and joy. Just a lot of crying in a corner staring at pictures of what you looked like before “the incident.”

*Shudders again*

Also I tend to take matters in my own hands, if you know what I mean. What is it about a pair of sharp, shiny scissors and incurable optimism that makes you actually think you can actually eye that hair cut and recreate it? Someone please explain this to me. Suddenly a cute Anne Hathaway pixie cut turns into a Lloyd Christmas bowl cut. What you see isn’t always what you get, if you know what I mean.

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And no, thankfully I’ve never attempted a pixie. If I did it would probably be more of an afro. Oh goodness, I just got a visual.

*Shudders yet again*

So to get to the point of the post, I have made a vow to myself that I would never cut my hair. Ever. Why am I telling you this? Well, you know those diet plans that require a buddy system so no one will cheat? Well, you are my virtual buddy. Exciting, huh?

So for future reference if I cut my hair you all have the right to unfollow, leave nasty comments and egg my house as much as you like. Maybe this will be just the incentive I need to keep myself in line. Shun Glamour and all of its glory. Shun.

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Have a great one wherever you are! And stay incredibly amazing.

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

Avoiding Reality TV: Day 2

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It’s been two days. No reality television. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m getting so much done! I think I’ll quit it forever.

Who am I kidding. I’ll break eventually.

Have a great one wherever you are! Stay incredibly fantastically amazing.

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

Meet Albert

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Well ladies and gents, after several hours of miniscule brush strokes, paint covered hands, monotonous music and deep thought, Albert the Hipster Elephant was born. And may I say he is thrilled to meet you all!

Now if you’ll excuse me, if I don’t get some fresh air I might just explode. Have a good one and stay ever so amazing!

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

Boredom At It’s Finest

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Today is a lazy, empty house day, so instead of watching an unhealthy amount of reality television, I figured I would paint something. I think I’ll call him Albert. Yes, Albert the hipster elephant. Elephants love flower crowns too, ya know.

I hope you all have a fantastic day filled with happiness and glitter. Stay fabulous.

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

Kate Goes Adventuring

And by adventuring I mean attempt to go to the library, realize it is closed and instead of sobbing on a deserted street corner in a fit of agony take picture of a beautiful home that has housed so many secrets and stories that it makes the imagination reel with delicious anticipation. The slight adventurous part? Well, it’s not exactly public property. Let’s just put it that way…

Don’t get me wrong though. I am not one of those rebellious types of youth that actively trespasses adventures where I shouldn’t be. I am merely a starry eyed romantic with a sense of dreamy optimism. That and the opportunity was there. If there’s one thing I learned in school it was that I should NEVER let a window of opportunity close the without reaching forth and attempting to grab that sucker by the throat. EVER. It would have been un-American of me. And let’s face it. I’m a red-blooded, adventure loving, trespassing, American. Let freedom ring!

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Isn’t she beautiful? The craftsmanship that is put in to old houses is enough to make anyone weep with adoration.

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If I had the chance to look up at this every day as I walked through that front door I would thank each and every one of lucky stars personally.

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Oh yes. And let it be told now, I have a thing for old doors. It is my intention to buy up as many as possible and put them all through my future house regardless of their difference in color, design or shape. It will be a hodge podge of happy old doors. And a very happy Kate!

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Can you can imagine waking up and looking out these windows every morning? My chills have chills.

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When you first round the corner of the house, you see this beautiful willow hiding the two level porch. Romantic, is it not?

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Once you meander to the porch you see a handsome wooden door and beautiful white trim. Someone pinch me.

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These are the incredible stairs that take you to the second level of the porch. The lighting this morning was simply incredible for shadowing. I would have taken pictures on the upper level but my adventuring was cut short by an unexpected witness.

So that goes to show you that good can come from the library being closed. Who would have thought?

Stay sneaky and amazing!

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo

I Spy With My Introvert Eye…

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Lately I have been a busy bee. Well of sorts. It’s as if I’ve had an epiphany. You know how I write about my personality type. Myers-Briggs is a nerdy obsession of mine. I love finding new information and insights about my type as well as others. The cool thing is that you really don’t have to force all of your family, friends, pets, people you watch out in public, etc. to take a test to find out their type. (I know! Crazy, isn’t it?) It’s sort of like being Sherlock Holmes in a general not-so-actiony lacking an awesome sidekick/best friend way. It’s elementary, dear Watson.

*Surgeon General Warning* This post is chock full of geeky psychology and doesn’t show any signs of a potential plot twist. Do not read if allergic to hypotheses, extreme giddiness, or MARVEL/Sherlock Holmes references.

I type people constantly, especially when I’m in a situation where I don’t know many people. If you are familiar with Myers-Briggs, you know that each of the sixteen types is composed of four letters. The first set of letters can either be an E (extroverted) or an I (introverted). This is the first set I try to figure out when I’m typing. Although it seems that this set should be the easiest to determine, I have found that it can give you more problems than what you have bargained for. Take for instance an INFJ. (That’s me!) Sometimes I can camouflage my personality and morph into the people around me. At first glance I can seem extremely extroverted. Not just extreme, I’m talking X-treme. (The latter spelling insinuates a degree of extroversion that almost seems superhuman.) However, when I do appear extroverted, it doesn’t last very long. The longest I’ve held out was probably an hour. After that I felt as if I ran a marathon backwards through the Atlantic Ocean.

On a side note, many people assume introversion means being shy. This is definitely not the case. Extroverts can be shy too. It’s like meeting an outgoing child for the first time. For the most part, kids will look at you with wide eyes and hide behind the nearest parental unit. Soon enough though they begin chattering about what crayon color is their favorite or how fast they can run. Introversion and extroversion has to do with how you recharge your emotional batteries. Would you prefer to sketch or read a book to relax? Or do parties and social events make you feel at home? That determines for the most part which of the two you are.

The next set of letters is S (sensing) and N (intuitive). The best way to explain sensing and intuitive is how you make decisions. Do you think seeing is believing or are your hunches always right? Sensors use their five senses to process and enjoy the world around them. They gather data and use it to determine what is going on or what their next move will be. Intuitives use their gut and almost “supernatural” (for lack of a better word) feelings to make decisions. Most sensors I know are male and most intuitives are female. It makes sense when you think of the phrase “mother’s intuition.”

Now we are at the next set, the T (thinking) and the F (feeling). Thinkers are analytical where feelers are emotional. Take my sister and me for example. I am and INFJ and H is an INTJ. There is only one letter difference, but oh what a difference it makes. We are pretty much polar opposites in the way we think. I tend to get my feelings crushed and trampled easier than H. I am also more touchy feely with the people I love. It’s not that H doesn’t have emotions; it’s just that she tends to internalize them in that big brain of hers and translate them into more of an equation or code with seemingly dry numbers and symbols. There are days when we literally can’t talk to each other because we just don’t get one another, but she is and always will be my best friend. Believe me, if you want to see magnetic forces, stick and INFJ and INTJ together. It will either be utter chaos or a sweet symphony of great ideas.

The final set consists of either a J (judging) or a P (perceiving) . Judgers aren’t haters. Just throwing that out there for good measure. They are the people who like to have a plan. They tend to map out their day, routes, and ideas and don’t really like the idea of random dots and blips on the radar screen of life. They love order. Perceivers on the other hand fly by the seat of their pants. They tend to have a laissez-faire outlook that leads them to many curvy, adventurous roads. It fascinates me how flexible these guys are.

So those are the four sets of letters every Myers-Briggs geek encounters on a daily basis. Once you get those down pat it’s all smooth typing from there. You might be thinking, “What good will this do me?” Well, I’ve always said that Myers-Briggs isn’t a sure fire, definite way of determining the outcome of relationships, but it is a fabulous blue print. It’s like being able to determine a Cape Cod from a Bungalow. Not every Cape Cod is exactly the same. Their can be a difference of size, room layout, colors etc. but you can always tell it is a Cape Cod, not a Bungalow. (And vice versa.) Once you type someone that doesn’t mean you automatically “know” them. It just means that you have a general idea of how their mind works and how they perceive the world around them.

I wish you all the best in your typing ventures! Who needs to play I Spy when you can play I Type? Am I right? (I have a feeling that last sentence is not helping my geek persona, huh?)

Stay incredibly amazing, you awesome individual!

Loads of Love,
Kate
xoxo