Well, dear reader, I have done it. I have finally found the solution to everyone’s ‘Forever Alone and stuffing our faces with carb-filled-foods’ problem. I have found the correct and never failing way to fall in love. It has taken a few years to properly situate all the data and facts but I believe I have done a marvelous job considering. Just follow these easy mutli-step steps and you will have it!
Are you ready to know the secret?
*Pauses for dramatic affect and waits for the audience to get excited*
The secret is…
There are no steps.
That’s it. None.
Please allow me to explain. I have seen multitudes of people mindlessly enrolling in sappy dating sites, scrolling through the jumbled mess of knowledge we know as the ‘internet’ and memorizing all the self-help ‘wear this perfume, smile like this and say this when you are ready’ books that are supposed to make us find ‘the one.’
I used to be one of those sad people. I thought that since I am single, there is indeed something wrong with me so I must take it upon myself to increase my misery by trying to pinpoint my hideous differences and adapt myself to look like those strangely happy women on the eHarmony commercials. I used to read enough wikiHow lists to make your eyes cross and swear up and down that they were right. Do steps 1-7,398 and you will fall in love!
Yeah, looking back that wasn’t my brightest moment.
I was racing to find a mirage out in the middle of a very lonely desert. After reaching for all of these things I would follow them expecting a revelation of someone that was meant for me. (I mean it’s the internet for crying out loud. You are not supposed to lie on the internet!) Five trays of Oreos, one whole pie, several pity parties, a constant single status and loads of rants later, I discover the internet had indeed lied.
Who would have thought?
The thing about it is that we don’t need checklists to fall in love. It’s not some 1-2-3 repeat after me system. You can’t force it or get rid of it. It comes when it is ready and always keeps us wanting more. It’s nothing like what we see in the movies or in romance novels. There are no lightning bolts, singing angels or rays of sun illuminating through thick luscious hair. Love is something deeper than that.
Love means caring for another person so much that you would literally give up your life for them. It means that even though they are pretty weird and they mess up at times, you still accept them for who they are. It’s seeing the dark and the light simultaneously. It can be detrimental or rewarding depending on the circumstances. It’s a complicated thing that cannot fully be grasped or explained.
You don’t enter a relationship just to be in a relationship. (Kinda like what you did in middle school just to fit in…or to change your Facebook status and rub it into Kasey’s smug face.) Or because you think a relationship will magically make you feel happy and confident about yourself. You get in to a relationship because you actually care for that other person.
Someone not too long ago told me this little snippet of wisdom. “If you are not happy now, you will not be happy in a relationship. Happiness is a choice you must make for yourself.”
Once I got to thinking about it, the more it made sense. Girls especially tend to think that once they are in a relationship, all of their self-confidence issues will immediately be erased. The truth is, you have to learn to love and respect yourself before anyone else can.
Enjoyment of life should not depend on other people. Life is an amazing thing you only get once. Why spend time being miserable about something you don’t have at the moment? Things happen in their own good time and eventually it will all fall into place. You just have to be patient and let it happen.
So if you are having love/dating woes, do not fret, darling! Everything will work out soon enough. And also never forget that loving and respecting yourself will get you a long way in life. Just keep on living and be the best you can be! I mean look at you, you are fabulous and you look even better when you smile! Stay amazing.
Loads of Love,