What is it about family photos that make us all make some of the stupidest faces known to man? Is it the fact that we are all crammed in the same area with the same people that know all of our most embarrassing secrets, social security number and guilty pleasures? Maybe it’s the matching outfits that had to be forced upon the protesting children and wedged on by the consenting adults. Maybe it’s the fact that every time a family takes a photo together, they all managed to get their feathers ruffled because someone stepped on their good shoes or blinked in the first shot or insult the way they fixed their hair. After all that fuss, we have to fake a smile and pretend that we are the utopian dream team. Yeah. I think that’s it. That or the fact that the tacky clothes you have to wear to these things would make Lady Gaga gag.
And on top of that, your parents always manage to cram these pictorial treasures in some scrapbook somewhere for your future curious and snickering children to see decades later. (They are so grounded…) And, lo and behold, that same picture graces the homes of all your friends and neighbors in the form of a cheesy, green and red Christmas card. (As if the photographer knowing this thing existed was bad enough.) Then all those people have a lasting memento of your fluffy hair, giant forehead zit and weird toothy gaze. Ah, yes. Nothing says Happy Holidays more than a card that is covered in the pinnacle of embarrassment of your young life.
Yes, here’s to you, awkward family photo. You are proof that people cannot learn from history and are forever doomed to repeat the blush inducing past.
Lots of Love,